Voices in the dark, homeless men speak out

Published 10:23 am Thursday, October 2, 2008

When it gets dark, that’s when it gets bad. At night, he hears voices of people prowling around the neighborhood. People walk past his parked van talking, snooping and sometimes tapping their fingers on the windows; perhaps entertaining the idea of breaking inside.

For two years now, Jim Smith, (alias) 57, has been homeless and living in his van, which is parked “somewhere” in North Bend.

“It is a fearful thing. You have to watch your back and keep your situation as secret as possible,” Smith said.

Smith is one of many working homeless people who take deliberate steps to keep from eing detected and identified as “homeless.”

There are several reasons for this, mostly safety-related issues.

Smith wouldn’t allow a photo to be taken near where his van is parked for fear of bringing unwanted attention to himself by police or, worse yet, others who may do him harm.

Unlike the stereotype of the homeless population, which is often portrayed by the media as unclean, unemployable people wandering the streets with shopping carts wearing multilayered baggy and unkempt clothing, Smith is clean shaven, well dressed, educated, speaks clearly, makes good eye-contact, does not drink or consume drugs and has never been to jail. Most importantly, he works.

He said he is not alone.

“I know where many homeless people are hiding, and they work, too,” he said.

Smith said he has found there are not that many living-wage jobs in the Valley.

Smith worked at Nintendo for 17 months and never gained a 40-hour-a-week schedule. He now is working part time as a carpenter.

“I cannot get full-time work. Without full-time work, no one will rent to you,” Smith said.

Smith became homeless when he and his girlfriend ended their relationship. He lost his job in Kent and his home of 11 years.

He does everything he can to disguise his situation by blending into the general population during the day and then hiding at night.

“You do not associate with the homeless people who are open about their situation. Not to be disrespectful, but I’m just not like them. Besides, it’s too dangerous,” Smith said.

Smith said every decision made as a homeless person is based on survival. “You do not associate with other homeless people or bring attention to yourself. If you do know someone is homeless, you never give out information about them or yourself because they know you are vulnerable. I could return to my van and find all my stuff stolen,” Smith said.

“I go to the store and see co-workers and converse as if everything is fine. They have no idea,” he said.

For Smith, the hardest part of being homeless is watching others leaving a restaurant or store and knowing full well they have a place to go. He is reminded at that moment that he doesn’t have anywhere to go.

One of those who works and has been homeless is Tom Scott of North Bend. He spent about 18 months living in his truck before finally getting an apartment last December.

There is nothing in Scott’s background that would indicate he was headed for homelessness.

“My parents were both scientists. I was well educated and brought up in a good environment. I was taught to be responsible,” he said.

Scott, 57, worked for many years as a superintendent. The company he worked for had to “down-size,” which meant Scott was laid off. At that same time, a relationship went sour for him, too, and he found himself with little income and no home.

“I occupied my time by hiking up to the top of Mount Si on weekends. I would visit with hikers and that helped me get by,” Scott said.

Both Smith and Scott said one of their greatest challenges is staying healthy. One reason is a poor diet.

“I’ve dropped about 30 pounds,” Smith said. “Most of the food at the food bank is not good for you,” he added.

“You end up eating dry food and it gets old fast,” Scott added.

Another health challenge for both was contracting illnesses related to exposure to mold.

“When you live in a vehicle in the wet months, mold forms inside the cab and you get sick from it,” Smith said.

Scott agreed. But, he experienced a much worse health crisis while homeless.

He suffered a serious stroke.

“I was in the hospital for three nights and four days,” Scott said.

After being released from the hospital, he returned to his truck to live and work part time.

The way he got his first apartment was through a fellow hiker he met on Mount Si.

“This lady and I struck up a conversation and found out we both were born in the same hospital in Wyoming. I began to trust her enough to reveal my situation and she decided to help me get into an apartment,” Scott said.

Besides the physical challenges, both Scott and Smith have dealt with emotional challenges, as well. Both experienced feelings of sadness, depression and fear.

For Smith, sometimes his thoughts turn to suicide.

“Some days I just feel like ending it. You wake up looking at the same cab ceiling and wonder how long this can go on,” Smith said.

Claustrophobia was another experience both men shared.

“You get into the cab at night, and it isn’t so bad at first, even cozy. Then, as the hours pass, the vehicle closes in on you and you feel like you cannot breathe,” Smith said.

In addition to safety, the lack of food and staying healthy, the men said the money issue is always looming large.

Juggling money on a day-to-day basis, both said they were forced to prioritize under pressure.

“I slipped some items into a friend’s yard sale yesterday so I could pay to do my laundry today and pay for minutes on my cell phone for work,” Smith said.

“I remember being $28 short of paying my truck insurance. It’s that kind of pressure I still deal with, even though I am as responsible as I can be with my money,” Scott said.

Smith and Scott both say the working homeless may be invisible to the public, but not to each other. And even though they do not associate with the visibly homeless people in the Valley, they do worry about some of them.

One such man they both knew was living in his car, which was parked in the QFC parking lot for several weeks. A few days ago, the man was taken to the hospital and his status is still unknown.