Principal John Belcher sent a message to Mount Si High School students and parents last week, reminding them to, basically, look out for each other over the long weekend. Watch for signs of grief and remember that help is available, both in school and out of it, he advised.

It’s good advice for every day, not just on the heels of the loss of a student; grief is sneaky and debilitating.

People in grief can be excellent at convincing themselves they’re not. They may go through the motions, convince everyone they’re “holding up well,” and claim that any irritability or nausea is just because they didn’t sleep much the previous night.

Those are all symptoms though. Anger, with or without a reason, is an early stage of grief. So are numbness and weakness, either physical or emotional.

People in grief may try to avoid social interactions. They experience insomnia and nausea, suffering from nightmares and lack of appetite. Along with the feeling of weakness, they may have unexplained trembling or difficulty breathing.

Not all of the symptoms are things you can see. That’s why we have to look out for each other, and why there are organizations like the Crisis Clinic (1-866-427-4747), the Crisis Clinic’s Teen LINK program (1-866-TEENLINK, or chat online at http://866teenlink.org), the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-TALK)and the Youth Suicide Prevention Program (www.yspp.org).

These organizations, like our local police departments, would rather get the non-emergency call that prevents a crisis, instead of the one that follows a tragedy, but they will always pick up the phone.

And in fairness, not every grieving person who takes the “business as usual” approach is in crisis. That’s how some people cope. Studies have found that the physical act of smiling makes people report increased feelings of happiness, for instance, so acting like things are normal might make someone feel back to normal.

Eventually, we’ll all get there, each in his or her own way.