The above title probably has you thinking I am going to write about some outstanding high-school athlete who can razzle-dazzle us with their athletic talents. Yes, this story is about a high-school athletic event where the unbelievable happened. An event so awe-inspiring that more than one jaw fell as it happened.

This event happened to a middle-aged, slightly over-weight man whose prior celebration athletically was being able to dribble the ball the entire length of the court in church league basketball. This person has a two-inch vertical leap for basketball, has a baseball glove that always seems to have a hole in it and can’t stand it when a person says, “Jim, just watch the ball to the bat.”

You see, one of those rare things occurred last week, like a shifting in the cosmos. I actually made a basket. Not just a lay-in or free throw, but a half-court bomb, all with no idea how it happened.

At every Mount Si boys’ basketball home game the booster club hosts a half-court shot for money as a fund-raiser for the program. I usually buy a ticket or two to support the cause. At this game Remo Castagno, a sophomore whom I have known for quite a while, came up and asked if I wanted to buy a ticket. The only thing in my wallet besides dust was one crumpled up dollar bill. I bought my ticket then joked with some of the teachers that some money prior to the holidays would be great. Knowing my athletic talents though, the comments I made were nothing more than that, comments. There was no basis for hope that anything would come of the ticket purchase.

That was the last I thought about my chances until, in the second quarter, Roy Baunsgard, who announces the games at Mount Si, told me that I should stick around for the half-court shot, which happens at the end of the third quarter. He said that it should be pretty funny to watch and that I might want to get a few pictures.

As the seconds ticked away to end the third quarter I was ready, camera in hand, sitting under one of the baskets. Then came that dreaded announcement: “Jim McKiernan, Big Mac, come on down and shoot a shot.”

I did my best to give Roy a bit of a joking glare as I walked onto the floor. My only desire was to hit the backboard. I didn’t want to scar my kids for life with their friends heckling them about how lame of a shot their dad made at the basketball game. Luckily, they weren’t at the game so the embarrassment could be delayed for them. But I knew the embarrassment of my severely lacking athletic talents was about to unfold in front of the hometown crowd.

Trying to act nonchalant, I dribbled once for good measure – and to prove to myself I could do it. I was kind of thinking that a dribble might throw people off, making them think I had talent. Then I launched the shot, a push from my chest with both arms. Things like this happen in slow motion as I watched the ball rise to the hoop, spinning slightly. It was straight, heading for the basket, high above the rim and then the surprise, it went through the net with a swish, not even hitting the rim!

All those basketball clichés come to mind, tickling the twine; all cotton, only net; etc. I probably looked pretty stupid … well, that’s a given but I raised my arms in the air, high fived the refs, a couple of Mount Si players and a few other middle-aged men standing on the edge of the floor.

The stars had aligned and the basketball had found the hoop. OK, this event happened more than a week ago, but I am still trying to relish the moment, please humor me. I did get a call from Chris Grina who works for Apple Physical Therapy, the folks who sponsor the half-court shot. She congratulated me then said that Joe McVein, the owner, banned me from shooting again. (I have him fooled into thinking I am some kind of basketball superstar.)

The whole experience was a blast and well worth the dollar. It was a celebration for those of us who are amazed by real high-school and college athletes (notice I didn’t say pro) and what they can do.

Thanks to the Mount Si Booster Club for the experience … and the Christmas money.