Spring cleaning is six months away (at least), but I am

feeling hemmed in these long gray days. The cleaning I need to do is all in my

head, so it is time to do a little purging around here There are a few things

I need to throw away.

Can we start with Y2K? We all know it was really cute when it

first came out. One of those slogans that catches the imagination. You

cannot say it to anyone without everyone knowing exactly what it

means. Highly effective, like a Barry Manilow jingle. But, like “hold the pickle”

it has been used to death. When someone asks if my cat is Y2K

compliant, you know we are over the deep edge.

While we are cleaning our cobwebby psyche, could we throw

out “millennium?” When every advertising campaign in the whole known

universe is using the same word, do ya’ think it’s lost its uniqueness? I

know a 1978 Volkswagen bug with less mileage on it. Cheerio’s Millenios, need

I say more?

I have another word that is so engrained our language today I

feel the need to amputate it completely. Absolutely. No, that’s the word,

“absolutely.” Every time I hear anyone speak anymore, they are

absolutely certain about everything. I have never been a big fan of absolutes, too

many trick questions on tests when I was a kid, I guess. The only person not

to overuse this word is Paul Schell and we all know he is a wuss.

Finally there is a new insidious slogan worming its way into the

American language. “It’s about.”

Honestly, I heard someone on TV say “It’s

about how pink has become the new gray which was the black of the 90s.”

Even on the national news you can hear Peter Jennings use this phrase. I

don’t know who started it, although I suspect it was probably one of those

fashion rags, but it is time to nip it in the bud. Absolutely. It is a new

millennium and we are all Y2K compliant.

Kate Russell lives between

Carnation and Duvall.

You can reach her by e-mail at Katemo1@msn.com.