Bob’s health care reform plan, revisited
October 20, 2009 · 4:34 PM
Some of you may remember that last week, I came up with a new health care plan for President Barak Obama.
After a few days, I deduced that Obama needed some additional information about the health plan I submitted.
So, I have put together the following instructions and helpful information using a few examples.
My health care policy entitled citizens to get a diagnostic book or DVD. I failed to mention that with every book or DVD, you’ll get, as a first time offering only, a medical kit consisting of a few bandages, some Aspirin, a stethoscope (cool, huh?), a hypodermic needle with several vials, a few small cups with tight fitting lids, and a body thermometer. You are now ready to get sick.
Now, let’s take a couple of ill or injured people as examples under this plan:
Patient A has a cough, a runny nose and wheezing in his chest when he breaths. His temperature is slightly elevated — he knows this from the book or DVD. He looks through the phone book, or may have a personal preference for a doctors, or may see an ad in the paper — under this plan, physicians are urged to take out newspaper ads. So, Patient A selects a doctor, calls him, describes his symptoms and his diagnosis. The doctor agrees or may disagree — he has that option — and prescribes one or two medicines.
Patient A then e-mails or mails the information to the CDC, attn: Consumer User Elective Decoders, or just CURED. They review your information and either approve or disapprove and send the information back to you. It is then up to you to select a pharmacy to fill your medications. And you are on your way to a healthy existence under your government’s new health care plan.
Patient B suffers a fracture of his left leg. He knows from his book, or DVD, that there are two types of fracture — broken bone, regular or compound fracture. A compound fracture is best identified by a piece of bone poking up and breaking the skin.
If that is the case, Patient B is in deep trouble and needs to act quickly. He calls three hospitals and describes his problem, selects the hospital that will best serve his needs and then calls the emergency 800 phone number for CURED to get instant approval. Hopefully, Patient B will not be put on hold or get a voice message.
Once he has verbal approval, and an approval confirmation number, he can drive to his hospital for treatment. Since this procedure may take a few hours, (or days) Patient B may want to dip into his medical kit for a couple of aspirins.
There are exceptions to everything, especially in dealing with the government. But I have outlined a couple of examples and the book, or DVD, will further assist any medical problems that may occur.
An additional benefit of this plan is that your employer is completely exempt from paying you any medical benefits. So feel free to ask for a raise.
Isn’t this GREAT! I expect to hear from the President soon.
• Bob Edwards lives in North Bend and is a member of the Sno Valley Writes! group. E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.